Homesick for no reason

Its been about 5 months since we moved to Belgium. At first I didn’t want to go back to the States, because I was just enjoying this life abroad too much. But after being here for few months now, I must admit I miss my home badly. I mean, I am extremely missing everything about America. My home, my neighborhood, my work, the surroundings, familiar faces, speaking English, last but not least TACO BELL (their Mexican Pizza and chalupa) …. everything. We came to Brussels for 2 years (well, atleast 2 years, may be 3/4 years… who knows) but now it seems too long. Even my 6 years old daughter is homesick sometimes. She is enjoying her school way more than I expected here in Tervuren, Belgium. But when she comes home, she keeps talking about how she could do things back in the States that she can’t do here. Also, We have visited too many places in a very short time after moving here (we are very lucky in that sense). But even that is enough for now. I forgot some of the places we have gone to earlier this year or even middle of this year. My daughter already hates going to the airport and flying a plane. I can’t blame her. She went to places with us that sometimes don’t even interest her. Other than flying, luckily she does like visiting new cities, staying in the hotels, eating out, and buying souvenirs (just like her mom :)) Also, as everyone says, and I know it too, she is being exposed to so many different cultures, religious, and people, that it will shape her personality in a very unique way. Hopefully that will make her someone who is very flexible and open to everything.

But back to what I was saying, I am really, really missing my home in Portland, OR. Then again, that’s what happens when you move to a new place. I remember when I moved to the States in my early teen years. First couple months I liked everything about America… the school, the stores, people, the fact that I could drive at 16 years of age, all the junk food from the menu of American fast food restaurants, and finally, the freedom that came without any costs and boundaries. Then a phase came, when I was missing Bangladesh so much that I wanted to leave my parents, siblings behind and just go back to Bangladesh where I grew up. That period didn’t last for too long either. I still missed Bangladesh at heart, but at the same time I started enjoying all the things that America had to offer me. I was young and reckless, wanted to do anything and everything to see how much I can spoil myself. And America was THE place for it. Then as time passed by, the childhood time in Bangladesh were nothing but sweet memories. I missed that country but didn’t want to go back there again.

So now… I don’t want to visit new places anymore, don’t want to learn French , don’t want to memorize anymore new Dutch words, don’t want to be too far away from my home, don’t want be an ex-pat anymore… Uhhh, fortunately, I know these feelings will change shortly 🙂 I will give it about couple more months, then I know, I will enjoy living this European life again. And that will be a permanent feeling. Then a time will come when we have to go back to the States and I will miss this present life of Belgium very much. Yep, that’s life. We don’t know what future holds for us, that’s why we keep missing our past, thinking our past was the best thing that ever happened to us. If we only knew that may be, just MAY BE, future is better than the past, then we don’t have to go through this feeling of emptiness.

Ok, Ciao for now

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